Find Yourself – February 5, 2008

Evening entertainment during my week is often slow; most everyone that I know in Austria has family obligations. Every so many days I reward myself by watching a movie. The pick this night needed to be something light, I was tired. Selection is always limited and comedies are few – oh, Cars, I’ve heard it’s good.

In a surprisingly entertaining and wholesome flick, a famous young racecar gets stuck in a hopelessly dead town along Route 66. Through a week of trials he finds not only happiness but also brings a new life to everyone and everything around him.

Shockingly analogous to life, we can try as hard as we want to seek our gain yet never find true happiness. I think that pure joy comes from fraternity with God and that only comes when you’re really walking with Him, every moment, every day, wherever He leads.

Now, many people would love to take God with them and really walk with Him, but I’m quite sure that the God of the universe does not want to grace the thrones we set up for Him in the government of our lives. I think He’d rather have us wholly submit to His throne, His government, and His plans.

Take a rare few moments in my life, I’ve never been lost. I’m not always certain of where I’ll be along the journey, but I have ideas and directions towards which I’ve spent years charting and crafting paths while enjoying a rather limitless existence. I am, however, in a very reflective place from which I know time, God, and self will retool my life and plans. How great of change? I doubt very great on the surface, but I’m guessing that I’m likely due for a quality tune inside.

Brad Paisley sings a song during the credits of Cars that sums the movie in a few shells.

When you find yourself in some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you’re becoming someone else
And then you find yourself

When you make new friends in a brand new town
And you start to think about settling down
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself, yeah that’s when you find yourself

Where you go through life so sure of where you’re headed
And you wind up lost and it’s the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way it’s really just as well
Because you find yourself, yeah that’s when you find yourself

When you meet the one, that you‘ve been waiting for
And she’s everything that you want and more
You look at her and you finally start to live for someone else
And then you find yourself, that’s when you find yourself

Cause sometimes when you lose your way, it’s really just as well
Because you find yourself, yeah, that’s when you find yourself

Working through my time in the desert (as in the movie I use the desert here as a pretty sweet and unbelievable place) I am not lost. But I am still thinking, rethinking. I really do hope that I can become someone else. Do I want to lose the old me? Absolutely not. Do I want to move to Route 66 and date some hot girl? Well, I’ll say no to the Route 66 part of that one. But do I want to take my time and really seek God’s will? Do I want to find where He wants me to be and then work towards getting there and getting settled down? Absolutely yes, or auf Deutsch, passt.

There is a joy in following God that cannot be explained. There is a joy in seeking His face. There is a joy in being exactly within His grips knowing that you are secure and that He will never let you go. Knowing exactly where I am heading will get me nowhere if I should not go there. Headstrong and navigating by starlight is a certain recipe for success, but as I’ve recognized before, what I do will be measured by a standard far higher than I can mark.

This week I’m looking to really enjoy my time in this desert. I’d like to drive the windy route and see what everyone else is missing. I feel that I’ve made strides: to seek God, to be held accountable, to enjoy and immerse myself with my surroundings, to enjoy daylight, and to track goals. I’m also working on a travel schedule, which I find surprisingly daunting in light of balancing ideas versus budget.